So, when I posted my desire to diversify, one of my very politically active friends suggested I look into some recent actions of the new administration and share my opinions. I am here to confess that I haven’t done this. I am, like many, in a constant state of political ambivalence and I don’t know what to do about it.
To some of you who know me, this may be surprising as I seem to have strong opinions on just about everything, and there are certainly many “political” subjects about which I feel passionate. But when it comes to believing that any of these so-called political issues can be solved through political (i.e. government) action, I feel the energy and hope draining through my fingertips.
Case in point, our handsome, brilliant, inspiring, articulate current president. As a person, he is just the coolest. I love hearing him talk, I love his life story, I admire his wife tremendously and respect him for marrying a strong, powerful woman. But do I have any faith that he is going to make any right decisions in this time of turmoil? No, not really.
Certainly, I may be a bit cynical, but there is more to this core of ambivalence than mere cynicism or apathy. There is a feeling, even a conviction, that there is no place for me. I remember when my father pointed out that commercials were no longer geared toward him or his generation, but to the newer generation. He added that this seemingly unimportant fact made him feel a bit, well, irrelevant. I mean, they were just commercials, but somehow their message was, “this isn’t really about you anymore.” This is very much how I feel every time I try to delve into the political sphere. While I don’t feel that my entire generation is irrelevant (heck, we’re probably more empowered than we deserve), I do sometimes feel that I am.
That is because I (and I’m thinking millions and millions of others) just can’t seem to fit myself into either of the grab-bag options given to us in this wacky American political system. I am not a conservative, but I am not a liberal. I am wandering in the wasteland of moderation. Not only am I a moderate, but I don’t even seem to be a good, proper, understandable moderate. I seem to mix up the issues that moderates are supposed to be concerned about. When I’m supposed to lean just a bit left, I find myself gravitating toward the right. When all the good moderates are siding with the conservatives, I find myself unable to.
So there is no place for me. Let’s be honest about how we as a country tend to feel about moderates. They’re boring. They waffle. They’re disloyal. If you’re a conservative you think they’re just a liberal trying to trick you and if you’re a liberal, they are just a conservative trying to be hip. They don’t effect change. They don’t make a difference. They don’t really know where they stand on the issues.
But those things are not true! At least not from where I stand (which, granted, may be a bit biased). I think I do know where I stand. It’s just that I always seem to be with different people. I know how I feel about abortion, capital punishment, gay rights, racism, public schools, foreign policy /war, women’s rights, poverty in America, global warming and more. I might not have a great grasp on what the heck to do with the current economic crisis, but honestly, who does? And yet, I feel completely isolated politically. When I talk to my conservative friends, I am decried as a left-wing wacko. When I talk to my liberal friends, I am gawked at as an bizarre specimen of religious conservatism, or at least as a schizophrenic misfit.
I am a little lost. Not in what I think, but in where I fit.
So I continue, practically, day-by-day to live out my politics. I want to be informed. I certainly listen to the news almost exclusively. But I am not particularly excited (either positively or negatively). I am interested, angst-ridden, deeply concerned, frustrated, isolated, hopeful, mournful, ambivalent.
I hear you…I to feel how you do. I’ve decided in many ways that I am a conservative-socialist. Sounds terrible, but that is where my beliefs have taken me. Are conservatives wise enough to make good social decisions? or are they too greedy to give money for less privileged (educated) people. Are liberals so consumed with choice that they are willing to not consider the ramifications of choice? There is just no great place to be. There will never be a humanist party, because humanist don’t typically have agenda’s that would appeal to the majority.
Nice post Chrissi, i was good to get inside your head and see where you and Bennett are coming from, sometimes i feel that way too… not that im pulled between the two but rather that im pulling on the fringes of the right to become conservative, real conservatives… its sad that, as Bennett pointed out, so often the republican party is money driven, not convictions driven and the Democrats well i often applaud thier compassion(towards some) but am repulsed at how they steal from the rich, and stand for most all things that are base and wrong. It’s certainly draining.
Interesting….what’s funny here is the idea that any good thing comes with two sides coming to some sort of compromise. It sounds funny even saying that, but with many things in life it is true. A relationship takes two active parties willing to give where necessary, and to take where necessary. I think it’s no different in the political scene. The middle is the best….the problem is the middle is relative, it seems. The other thing that blows is that the so-called ‘political compromise’ seems very unattainable. The left and the right are solely after their own agendas and political bests. So how can a healthy compromise exist in that arena? I don’t know….I’m just as lost as the next sucker.
Chrissi, I feel your pain.
Moderates don’t have much of a voice in a political democracy. The problem is that moderates don’t make good candidates, because people with complex, shades-of-gray viewpoints are unlikely to rally majority support. Furthermore, they’re unlikely to run for office in the first place (a political campaign is an expensive, time-consuming process for someone who sort of believes something).
Of course, it extends to radio and television, where healthy capitalism has resulted in networks awarding jobs to the most sensational and divisive personalities (read: not politically moderate) — who naturally cover the most sensational stories. Moderates don’t get a voice in our system.
New media (like this blog) offers a light at the end of the tunnel and it is my belief that many passionate liberals and conservatives like your friend would, in fact, be more moderate if given more opportunity to do so. Many of my friends are libertarians like me, but claim to be liberals or conservatives (usually in alignment with whatever their parents are).
Of course, you’re not worried about any of this anymore now that you have a Mary to worry about. I just thought I would drop in my two cents and let you know that I enjoy your smart, humble blog.
Thanks, Cousin! I like having you visit my blog. It is such fun to have you more in my life, now. You are an exceptional human.